This is how a politician explains “clean coal”

Once upon a time, all coal was dirty.

But now, we have discovered “clean coal.” This is a picture of our Treasurer, Scott Morrison, showing the Federal parliament a piece of clean coal.


That’s the Deputy Prime Minister, Barnaby Joyce, in the background.

He likes clean coal.

Clean coal is different from dirty coal. It is made from a different, cleaner sort of carbon so it’s generally cleaner.  So that when you burn it isn’t so dirty. And it doesn’t hurt environment.

That’s why it’s as good as solar power and wind power which are also clean. But they’re not as good as clean coal, because sometimes the sun doesn’t shine and the wind doesn’t blow.

But there is always clean coal to burn.

And there is lots of it. Because we have found that Australia has lots of clean coal that we can dig up.

The other good thing about clean coal is that we have found much cleaner way of burning it.  The old way of burning it was very dirty. So now we have got lots of clean coal and a clean way of burning it. So this is very good.

 And there you have it.  The complete guide to clean coal. It is probably about as good as it gets.

Now if you believe this. You probably believe in:


The Fairies at the Bottom of the Garden


The Flat Earth


The Perpetual Motion Machine



And you probably find the world a very puzzling place.


One thought on “This is how a politician explains “clean coal”

  1. Tim
    You omitted to mention that the cleanest way to burn clean coal is to let someone else burn it in another country. That’s why we are giving Adani $1 Billion to help them burn it elsewhere

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