Farmer Abbott’s barnyard animals (7): Mojo – the rabid budget mongrel

For many years, Mojo had been a pretty amiable dog, wandering round, bumping into things and farting a lot. But as Farmer Abbott began training him to be a budget dog, he began to undergo some quite disturbing changes. To begin with this only amounted to growling a lot and chasing passing cars, mainly nuisance stuff.

But as his first budget roundup drew nearer, Mojo underwent some disturbing changes. The growling increased, he began barking at everything that moved and he began snapping at everyone who wasn’t quick enough to get out of his way.

Mojo has had his sights set on Clarence the carbon tax goose for some time and has taken to chasing Clarence around the barnyard. He had Clarence bailed up in a corner one day when Farmer Palmer from across the road scooped Clarence up and said “Don’t worry, Clarence I’ll look after you.” Clarence didn’t look too convinced but at least he was safe from Mojo for the while.

Clarence was not the only band had animal to become the object of Mojo’s rabid behaviour. He took a sizeable lump out of Priscilla, the paid parental leave show pony’s bum. Priscilla was quite an easy target for Mojo, being fat and slow-moving. There wasn’t a lot of sympathy for Priscilla and indeed the mutterings of “pet food” were becoming more audible around the barnyard.

Mojo has a couple of friends in the barnyard. The first one is Coal-fired the flatulent draught horse. It appears that flatulence is a condition that draws animals together in a common bond. A relationship that is much harder to explain is his friendship with Floppy the negatively geared (and non-flatulent) rabbit. Given his temperament, many people expected Mojo to have made a meal of Floppy very early on, but Mojo appears strangely protective and monsters anyone who even looks sideways at Floppy.

Mince the Poodle has taken to following Mojo around but generally Mojo just ignores him feeling that a friendship with a poodle does very little for his macho bulldog image.

Things really took a turn for the worse when he rounded up a group of old age pensioners from the old folks home who were visiting the farm and bailed them up in the toilets. They only escaped when they formed a phalanx and advanced on Mojo threatening him with the pointy end of their umbrellas. The management of the old folks home rang Farmer Abbott and said the pensioners would not be visiting the Barnyard in future and no, he needn’t send the bus round on election day.

The next day there was a visit from children at the local primary school. Everything was going well until Mojo, aided and abetted by Mince, got onto the school bus and ate the children’s lunches. To make matters worse, Mince then peed all over their school bags.

Farmer Abbott appears oblivious to the mayhem that Mojo is causing but it has been noticed that he is spending a lot more time in the pub with his mates